Thailand Quirks

Thailand.  I never thought I’d visit it, but I’m quite glad I did – thank you to all those who tried to talk me into it! I’ve posted a lot about what I’ve done everywhere I’ve been, and you’ve seen some of what I’ve seen through my photos, but there are so many things that just make Thailand, Thailand – for better or for worse. I understand that a lot of these things may apply to SE Asia in general, or sometimes just third world countries overall, but I’ve only been to Thailand thus far, so I can only presume about the other countries. To start, a buzzfeed style list:

Signs you know you’re in SE Asia/Thailand

1. It’s sweaty, and hot. You come to accept this due to the fact that after each shower, you’ll be sweaty as soon as you leave your A/C or fan room.
2. 7-11 is your friend – it’s pretty much the biggest, only chain convenience store in Thailand. You can get most things here for a fair price. Valued much more than in the US.
3. Going on any sort of tour/transportation involves deciding what tour you’re doing and then trusting numerous locals who pass you from boat to car to ferry to van. Sometimes they’ll stop to pick up their relatives or randomly stop somewhere for a smoke break or to say hi to their friends – don’t worry, this is normal, be patient. Miraculously, you make it back to your hotel!
4. You learn to operate on “Thai time.” You’ll pick me up at 11? Alright see you at 11:30 or 11:45!
5. It’s hot, and sunny. Oh wait, never-mind, here comes a monsoon. Better run to 7-11 to grab a plastic poncho to survive the downpour. Okay, got it on now – wait, the sun’s out again? Now I just look silly.
6. The napkins at all the restaurants are in reality a just a roll of toilet paper inside a plastic case.
7. Speaking of toilet paper, you don’t put it in the toilet… You wipe and then throw it in the trash. Something about the septic system. Oh, and if you have a big dump, there’s a little hose next to the toilet to help spray it down, but mostly to make yourself feel proud of your creation.
8. Some toilets don’t even have a flush handle on them, but have a bucket of water next to it, with a pail to pour into the bowl once you’re done.
9. There is no concept of a shower curtain. Taking a shower? Your toilet & sink are now wet too, as well as the entire floor!
10. “Lady boys” are everywhere, and are both respected and made fun of at the same time.  They put on some mighty fine burlesque shows, or so I hear.
11. Mopeds/scooters are the primary form of transportation, and are utilized to their fullest – two seaters somehow manage to fit up to five people on them, and people manage to use them to carry just about anythings around, just by teetering it between them and the moped. Also, there seems to be no concept of a legal driving age, as you’ll see kids just old enough to have hand-eye coordination driving them.
12. If you’re not riding a scooter, you’re probably taking some form of public transport: a Tuk-Tuk (a scooter with a side/back saddle for passengers) or a songthaew (a pickup truck with a cover and benches for passengers)
13. Longtail boats are the primary form of transportation by water (an engine with a long driveshaft on the back, so they can go in shallow waters)
14. There are two prices you’ll find – the locals price and the tourist price – often double. Some places even have two different menus/price lists!
15. “Same Same” – a common expression Thais use to say something is, well, the same. But it ends up being used a lot more than you’d be used to. So much so that there are t-shirts everywhere you can by that say just that.
16. It’s easy to find a place to get a massage… Too easy. Every other shop is a massage place with people standing outside smacking their lips at you saying, “massaaaaaaaaaage?” and “I make you feel good!” I haven’t opted for a “feel good” massage yet…
17. “Ping pong shows” – they’re not what you think they are, but you quickly catch on. I’ll let you figure this one out…
18. The smell – Thailand has a distinctive sewage smell in certain areas – if you’ve been you know what I’m talking about.
19. Just about every hotel’s key is what activates the electricity – so if you leave with the key everything will turn off – including anything you were charging.
20. One quote I saw on a hostel wall, “One does not simply have a solid bowel movement in SE Asia.” So true.
21. There’s going to be at least one point where you get some food poisoning/diarrhea. I mean, let’s face it, look at all the crazy food you’ve been eating – and who knows how it was prepared. That fish you had? It’s probably been sitting out in open air making friends with the flies before it made it to your plate.
22. Dogs and cats, they’re all roaming wild here – and no one minds. Actually almost ran into a pair having sex on the road when I was driving my scooter. Definitely weren’t neutered/spayed either.  Ah, the beginnings of life.
23. Night markets are the place to get all the best food. At about 1/10th the price of any restaurant, you can try all sorts of foods you didn’t know existed.
24. Food carts are everywhere. And by food cart, I mean a scooter with as many things attached to it to make it a full service kitchen while still being able to pack it up and drive off. It’s quite impressive how all the vendors do this every night.
25. There are enough signs with poorly translated English you get used to it:
26. 
27. But you still have to appreciate it when they get the translation right, AND put a pun in there for you (intentional?):

28. 

    “Drop your pants here”

29. Things are not designed for people above 5′ 8″…
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31. You learn quickly what a “Changover” is… the inevitable hangover after a few Chang beers the night before.
32. There are the popular full moon parties, but they also have half-moon parties, quarter-moon parties, new moon parties, shiva moon parties… so essentially there are parties every night – any excuse to get people to come out to play 🙂
33. No luxury of syrup – if you order something like pancakes or french toast, they’ll give it to you with honey. I actually much prefer this.
34. Lastly, you’re going to get sick of temples. They are quite beautiful and intricate, but there are soooo many of them and so much effort is put into creating & maintaining them that it just becomes normal everyday scenery.

There are lots of quirks, but I have to say, I love all of them. I want to go back. It’s a completely different way of living, and while some of it might take a while to get used to, compared to our “western” way of living, I think it’s a pretty good lifestyle. With the right price tag, too. I’d highly recommend visiting if you haven’t already – it is so choice.